the bling ring is so relatable because besides the uh robbing all they do is drive around listening to rap and drink iced coffee
Depression is stupid and not a thing that makes me a better writer. One time I went a whole year without writing and I stayed in bed and drank. Fuck your Bukowskisms. I want sunlight and love and running down some street I’ve never been on where it’s warm and cool at the same time and I’m smiling. I want nothing to ever be bad again- and I don’t mean that I want a life free of conflict, I mean that I want a life free of meaningless conflict. Not being able to will oneself to take a shower or leave the house is meaningless. There is nothing to be gained, no lesson to be learned from that kind of life. My heart is stale, my prose is stale. Give me fire if you want to hurt me. Give me something I can taste. There’s nothing romantic or mysterious about where I am. There’s nothing here worth holding onto.
Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)
Basim Magdy’s 13 Essential Rules for Understanding the World
1. Never assume or pretend to understand anything.
We all know you don't, just like we don't.
2. Never try to change anything.
You can't even change yourself.
3. Never claim to like nature or defend the environment.
You're an alien on this planet.
4. Never buy or exchange anything.
With every purchase or exchange you drown faster in
5. Never fall under the false spell of doing good with money.
If money didn't exist in the first place, neither would the poor.
6. Never let yourself fall asleep. You'll dream.
7. Never try to make a point. No one will ever care.
8. Never use logic. Abstract behavior is the way of this world.
9. Never invent or produce anything.
Others will use it and complicate things more.
10. Never trust dogs or people. They both bite when angry.
11. Never forget there are almost 7 billion other people here.
You don't matter. Really, no one cares.
12. Think of death and the dead everyday.
Death will still take you by surprise but you will be
more prepared than others.
13. Life is a tangled web of unexpected events.
Never claim or believe that anything is certain.
(I found this through a fantastic installation at On Stellar Rays in SoHo)
*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable